Recently I've had the pleasure of being hired on as a script supervisor for a pilot. It shoots for six days over the weekends. The hours are kind of rough, 7pm to 7am, but totally worth it. I must say that I have learned more about acting in these last 4 days, than I have in the last six months. It's such an eye opening experience. Ultimately, I believe that acting is not as serious as I thought, and much more fun than expected. I think this is the mind set that I had initialy had about acting, but somewhere along the way, I got lost in objectives, sources, actions, that I forgot to simply be a kid in a sandbox.
Being part of the crew on the other side of things, has really given me not only a fresh new perspective on the whole process. but also a new added confidence. I used to be scared when walking on set. I guess it had to do with meeting everyone's expectations for the shot. I realized that no one, except for the director, cares what you do or how you do it. Everybody has a job that they are concerned about, and are too busy focusing on that task, that the acting becomes secondary to the whole process. So the judgement I've always felt was pretty much all in my head. I'm not so freaking IMPORTANT! And it feels great.
Also, I have realized that I can do this. It's not so hard, or at least it's not as hard as I made it out to be. I can't wait till my next audition.