Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Meeting with an Agent

Look, I didn't come here in a spare of the moment type thing. I came here to see you. I have it written down on my mirror "Drop off head shot at 6363 Wilshire Blvd". It wasn't by chance that I came in here, it was planned. It was an assignment of mine to come down here. Now I'm not one for self promotion--I abwhore it. I tend to shy away from it. But you have seemed to spark something in me today that will allow me this exception. Please sir, don't get up, I'm not finished. Now get back down and sit in your swively little chair. Yes now grab the pile of head shots off your desk and keep thumbing through them as you were doing so before, good. Don't look at me, look down at the head shots, good. Take a good hard look at what you were doing. Then ask yourself Why? Not now (you are under a lot of stress), but at home. Or on in your car on the way home--or whenever it is that you become yourself again. Here take my card and call me whenever it is that you figure it out.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Step Forward

Indian blood runs through me as I listen to beats and chants of the beautiful war dance in my head. I spin out of control and I will not pull out--not this time. I will let my body flow to the natural rhythm of life. Let it take me where it takes me. I will let the insanity emerge and I will begin to unwrap myself. I will begin to speak the words I was meant to say. No longer will I censor them for fear of approval--The drum plays heavier and faster now matching to the beat of my anxious heart.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I Think Now it's a Good Time to Eat

I owe you the world, but the world is not mine to give. Give more and you will receive. Give with an expectation to receive and expect nothing. What goes around comes around, but nothing happens if you do nothing. Speak your mind and you will begin to listen to it. Talk with your heart and you will be heard.

Last night my world was stopped by a homeless man who had to share with me a simple phrase, "I think now it's a good time to eat". I think you are right dear friend. We all seem to go through life with such a dissatisfaction for it. We complain that we are hungry for more, but never take the time to eat. We live in a world where everyone is watching their weight. Careful not to consume too much of what the world has to offer. We go on diets that censor foods which give us tremendous amounts of pleasure. We are scared to eat, thus becoming malnutritioned. The outside becomes like a beautiful shell waiting to cave in on it's hollow womb. I think my friend the homeless man was right in saying, "I think now it's a good time to eat".




Rock and Roll


I Can't Understand Bob Dylan, but I Love Him Just the Same

Listening to this man today is like taking the perfect prescription for an illness that will forever go undiagnosed. His words and variational musical notes seem to defy unpredictability. As if his music strikes the core of human doubt. His seemingly incoherency only adds to the truth that miscommunication is at the heart of human existence. To be misunderstood and loved at the same time for it, is like seeing a giant Picasso canvas, or reading one of Becket's non linear writing. What truly creates lineality? The mere fact that my computer asks me to spell check "lineality" only adds to the ridiculousness of life. As if the word never existed. Maybe my computer is telling me something. Perhaps nothing is lineal. Maybe when you are on the path it seemingly looks straight, but when you really look at it from a different perspective, you see that you are actually traveling in a never ending circle. Orbiting the endless timeless watch that will forever keep your gravitational pull constant. Sometimes your orbit comes across another, creating a compromising situation that will either result in harmony or chaos.

Sometimes I see and choose to close my eyes, other times I choose to look away. Only when my eyes will be truly open will I find nothing to see.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Bunnies and Hats Bore Me

The things that one sees around always seem to be an illusion. A mere magic trick. The hidden object never seems to appear in the hand I choose. As if perhaps such object never existed. It was only a figment of my imagination to begin with. Magicians are tricky people, no pun intended. Run when you come across one-- as far as you can go. I would like to meet a clown now. It's easier to see through the mask of a clown than to see past the illusion of a magician. A clown will make you laugh, and they seem to be quite simple creatures. They know what they want, and if they don't know, they will be sure to clearly tell you. Their face is transparent and clear to see. Whereas a magician can be the exact opposite. Chasing a magician is like chasing a cloud of smoke that leads to a giant furnace, in which you are tricked to jump in. An illusion that eventually consumes you only for their personal gain. Another one fooled. Another soul gained.

Minus One to Titan

I sit here now alone in my space ship staring at the seat next to me. Wishing that the missing seat would have been filled by the one I left back in Venus. I tried to persuade her to come, but she was too stubborn to move. The floating poisonous gas consumed her body to the point of ecstasy. There was no getting through and so I left. I never plan to go back for her. Breathing her world made me an addict of it. I fear going back will forever leave me addicted. So I sit here on cruise control waiting for my body to heal so that I can begin to press the gas. Soon Venus will be miles away, and It's sole occupant will be but a faint distant memory.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Titan Seems Miles Away--Can't you see it?

Sometimes things happen because they are meant to happen. Time is an obstacle that many seem to stumble over and over again. There is no one in the world that can give you what you want unless you go after it. You only live once right? Maybe one day the world will tilt and spin on it's equator and we will someday see nothing but light for years to come--at least one half of the world would. It seems as if half the world is on one side and the other on the opposite. Creating an awesome ying yang that not even God could have predicted. The almighty scientist who mixed elements together with only an educated guess on what the results might be. Who could have predicted the world to turn out this way? Man and woman are created in the same image, but the inner workings are miles away. Venus is a planet that I wish to conquer. Perhaps not the planet itself, but one resident. Stubborn is this citizen of Venus. I arrive in my space ship and tell her that I will show her the galaxy, but she chooses to stay--always. She likes being the only occupant of this desolated place. "Lets go to Titan" I said, "Help me create a new world". She tells me to go at it alone. I said, "I would and eventually I will, but there is no one else in the universe that I would have more fun on this journey with. I can't promise you that we will ever get to Titan, space is filled with unpredictability. Different gravitational pulls that might take you away from me is to be expected. You see I don't want to trap you. I just want to fly with you, even if it's for a day." She tells me to leave and come back--she needs space. I tell her, "I know". So I sit here now and I write in light that my words might impress the universe to act. I wait for time to tell me when to go back. Titan waits for me to arrive, but I refuse to go at it alone.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Empty Minded

The soul is empty with no food. Keep eating knowledge and you will learn, but never know. Facts are fake. There is an opinion for every grain of sand on earth. No one will ever know anything. Our senses are filtered through our own individual perspective. It's impossible to be correct. Right was only created because or else everything would be wrong. Nothing is nothing and everything is everything. Nothing is not plural, but singular. Everything is valid and invalid. Count the stars and you will get something. Numbers are scary and so is time. The end is near and so it's time.